9) The villainous Sith Lord closes in on the heroes near the end, but they manage to escape in the Millennium Falcon at the last moment. 8)There is a ground battle on a white surface, involving AT-AT walkers, planet-bound speeders and Resistance/Rebel troops in trenches. ![]() 6) A Dark-side villain character, during a fight with a Light-side Force user, tries to join forces to "rule the Galaxy side by side." 7) A Jedi apprentice enters a place full of dark Force energy, seeing a vision of themselves. 5) The main protagonist and antagonist meet and discuss parentage, which ends with an unexpected answer. 4) Several of the protagonists break of from the Resistance/Rebels, and flee to an isolated location where they meet an ally who later turns out to be a traitor. 3) An untrained but prodigious youth is rapidly trained in the ways of the Force by an older teacher, despite Prequels establishing that most Jedi are trained from childhood and need 15-20 years to reach Force proficiency. 2) There is an extended space chase - of the Millenium Falcon by TIE fighters in Empire and of the Resistance capital ship in The Last Jedi. 1) There is a hasty emergency evacuation of a rebel base. ![]() I was there.The Last Jedi includes several direct callbacks to the second film in the original trilogy, Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980). (Also, I don’t care what Barubbub says, it’s Palpa-TINE, not Palpa-TEEN. So if you’re wandering around and you see an Ewok, Trust me, you'll save yourself a world of trouble if you just go buy the Camp Endor T-shirt instead. Don’t tell me it’s a 'romp with the adorable woodland creatures of Endor' and then make me stand in place for an hour while a pack of baby bears strut around imitating the way I say 'Palpatine.' It’s true, I was a stormtrooper. But if you’re going to torture me, at least have the courage to admit it. But I never even saw him, except this one time when we walked by each other in a hallway. Even my parents are like, We told you that Darth Vader was bad news. I realize, I’m no one’s favorite person right now. No joke, half my crew got eaten in front of me.Īnd then when we got back Barubbub walked behind me imitating what he called my 'Boo Hoo Boo-Boo walk.' I really, really hate that guy. How is that even legal?īut it was actually better than 'Outdoor Adventure,' which involved a group of us having to hunt the 'Boo-Boo.' It sounds like a kids’ game, right? Turns out, a Boo-Boo is a freaking dragon. Seriously, you have to jump off a platform a thousand feet in the air and swing. The 'ropes'? These terrifyingly thin vines they make you use to travel between platforms. Their 'Ropes Course' involved building new homes for them a thousand feet above the ground. You literally can’t trust anything an Ewok tells you, either. Yes, I asked for an extra break, 'General' Bleeblah or whatever your name is, but I’m also 45 and spent the last t20 years in a completely useless coat of armor. They mimic everything about you-the sound of your voice, your walk, the way you eat.Īnd any mistake you make at work-oh, did they forget to tell you, Camp Endor is a work camp - they just shred you. I know you probably won’t believe this, but I swear it’s the truth: Ewoks are super mean. Then we got off the transport and our Ewok handler Barubbub (why do all their names sound like things a drunk Mon Calamari says?) immediately began to ridicule us. Go New Republic! And like me, they all thought they had hit the jackpot. I should have known I was in trouble as soon as I got on the shuttle and started talking to the other 'campers.' They were all stormtroopers. A three-month stay in a camp in the woods filled with adorable teddy bears: Who doesn’t want that? When I saw it listed under my release options I was like, 'Is it my birthday?'. I know they sold Camp Endor T-shirts recently at Star Wars Celebration Europe.
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